Have you found yourself constantly failing in relationships and wondering what you are doing wrong? Dating & Relationship Coach Ravid Yosef of Love Life TBD (www.lovelifetbd.com/) offers you professional advice to set goals to acheive the desired outcome. Just as a coach of a sports team would do, she creates the template and helps you build the skills needed to win.
Prior to her life as a Dating Expert, she established herself as a thought leading marketer, social media strategist and award-winning online advertiser during her tenure at Interscope Records, the world’s largest record label. While at Interscope, she managed the digital marketing of artists such as 50 Cent, P. Diddy, Mary J. Blige, The Black Eyed Peas, Pharelle, and Gwen Stefani to name a few. Her advice columns and personal essays have been featured on YourTango, Care, Women.com, Fox Magazine, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, Psych Central, Digital Romance and many other online publications.
After years in the music industry at a major label, what inspired you to change your career?
There’s two parts to the story – the transformation started six years ago when I was laid off from Interscope. The day after it all happened I felt this huge weight lifted off of me. Within two weeks, the dark circles around my eyes that I’d use expensive creams to attempt and fail to get rid of, were suddenly gone, and I realized that while I had an amazing job and met people who would be in my life forever, I wasn’t living MY life.
I was living an artist’s life. I had to jump when they said jump. I’d have to wake up at 3am to deal with something someone else deemed as an emergency, that really wasn’t all that important to the world at large. I decided that moving forward I wanted to live my own life, on my own schedule, where my actions every day were not determined by my inbox.
I dabbled in starting my own web development platform since I came from a digital marketing background – and that lead to opportunities with different companies which were financially rewarding, but left me feeling pretty empty.
Why choose love and relationships as a focus area?
A couple of months shy of my 30th birthday I was diagnosed with Cancer and as a part of choosing my course of treatment, I had to choose if I wanted to have children. Being so focused on my career I hadn’t given it much thought before. I was the girl more concerned with the plaques on my walls than my ovary count. I was actually purposely single for years, but with the choice so vital – I decided that I did want kids and I wanted it the traditional way. Love, Husband and then Family.
Once I was healthy I decided to aggressively date to find the one, and I was having a very different experience than most women I knew. I started writing about it as a way to tell all my friends what was going on and the lessons I learned. My articles started getting picked up by different sites and my following grew and I went out and got some certifications so that I could coach people my strategies beyond the advice I was giving in the written format.
What is the most common mistake people make in dating?
They date on autopilot and lack self-awareness and perspective, which creates the same outcome every single time. There’s no purpose behind their search for love and they don’t really know what they want. It’s hard to know someone is the one, when you don’t know what you’re looking for in the first place. Most people think of finding love in a selfish way – I want my partner to be x, y and z and they list a bunch of adjectives and traits they want in the other person – instead of focusing inward and looking at who they are and what kind of life they want to live with someone.
How has your career affected your personal life in regards to dating?
The old career made me very guarded and since I was dating on autopilot, I would show up the same way everywhere I went. The same person I was in the boardroom was the person I was on a date, and that didn’t work. You have to be able to shift your energy and show up differently as needed.
Today there are pros and cons to dating while being a dating and relationship coach. I psychoanalyze my dates, which is a con, but men also share a lot more with me because of what I do, so it gives me a good perspective early on who they are.
Do you feel that relationships have changed in a positive way?
I think there’s a lot of confusion out there. The changing roles for men and women sociologically has made it hard to figure out each person’s role in relationships. We are no longer tied to the old belief that a man is the provider and a woman stays at home – which is great, but there are needs that we as humans have biologically that are no longer being met. This is creating a conflict in our relationships and most people lack the communication skills to tackle this on.
Plus we live in a time where there are so many choices for who you date because of apps that a lot of people have a hard time choosing one person and fighting the good fight with them because they think that something better is always going to be out there just because they have access to more people.
Describe the services you offer. What can clients expect?
I work with people in many different ways. I cater the services to the challenge you are facing, but generally work on getting rid of patters and sabotaging behavior that keep you from succeeding at love. I free you from the negative talk and emotions that plague you from moving forward and help you find your voice when communicating. We put together a strategy for you to accomplish whatever your love goal is; be it save a marriage, find love, be more confident, etc.
No matter what happens, I know that you’ll walk away from me with improved relationships with everyone in your life – not just romantically. You’ll be happier, have more clarity and live a life worth attracting the right type of partner for you.
What do you think would be the most challenging kind of client?
Someone who lives with a victim mentality is the most challenging to work with. When you’re a victim you look for outside circumstances to define you and your happiness. Everyone else is wrong, or they did something to you and that’s why you’re here. You have a hard time looking at your own actions as the root cause of why you don’t have love in your life. Love is an inside job. You have to look within first. Shift your behavior first. The world will follow.
Is there any advice you would offer someone who has given up on love?
Don’t give up. Go out there and live the life you want with or without a partner. Be happy without a partner and do your own personal development work. When you are right within and are living a life worth sharing, you’ll meet the right person for you.
But you have to date with a purpose. You can’t wait for love to just happen to you. You have to set an intention for your life and live in that intention… and oh, stop doing stupid shit, take responsibility in your life and do better.
