An accomplished actress, model and award-winning film producer, Jacinth Headlam is definitively living her dream. However, life hasn’t always been so kind. Inside the pages of her book “Love After”, she shares her story of perseverance.
Where did you draw inspiration for your book “Love After”?
What inspired me to write this book, I was at a point in my life was broke and broken. I hit rock bottom and I didn’t think life was worth living anymore. I was lost. I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it sounds so cliche, but I was going through a lot. I was ending a marriage with two kids involved, going through a nasty divorce. We are now on better terms, co-parenting for the sake of our children.
When it happened, I lost everything. I had to move in with my mom, only having a few garbage bags of our clothes. It was crazy to see how one minute everything is going great, but suddenly the rug is pulled from under your feet.
However, in that moment of me hitting rock bottom, I had to go through some soul searching and what the next phase of my life would be. I had to heal from my divorce and the depression that came along with it. There were other things from my past I needed to recover from, including my having been molested and witnessing domestic violence as a child. My stepfather used to drink, come home and beat my mother. I had reached a point in my life where the I realized that things could only go up from there, the question was how.
Did you always know that you wanted to publish this information, sharing it with the world?
If you had asked last year if I would be publishing a book, I would have said no. Absolutely, not. Love After was just a journal… In journaling, I realized that I could use it as an actual book that could not only help me but others who could relate or have gone through similar experiences. Initially, I was afraid because I didn’t want anyone to see my vulnerabilities and think of me as weak. I didn’t want anyone to see me sweat. You don’t want anyone to see you bleed out loud. I am a very private person, so this wasn’t something I would usually do, especially with my family involved. I deal with a lot of these people every day. I wasn’t thinking of myself, but of how it would affect them. At one point during counseling, my counselor told me that I had to tell my truth.
You started your modeling career at an early age, and you have also won awards as an actor.
Yes, I am an actress and model, but I also produce films as well. Now, I am a first-time author, too.
With that said, do you feel that working in the entertainment industry played a role in some of the things that became problematic during your relationship?
Yes, but only to a degree. Primarily, I was dealing with infidelity which I had reached the point where the marriage couldn’t move forward. A child was born outside of our marriage. I found out about it on Facebook when a female reached out to me on Facebook Messenger.
Before that, my ex-husband wasn’t too fond of me acting. Ninety-five percent of the leading lady roles you are going to have a love interest. When I did the film Diary of a Bad Man, of which I later became a producer, I was the leading lady and had an intimate scene with my co-star. And, that didn’t go over too well (laughing). It unquestionably played a huge part in his insecurities. He no longer wanted to be with an actress, making me choose between my dreams and being with him. He was like when I met you, you were working at the bank. You had financial stability and a 401K.
Were you still active in the entertainment industry when you met him?
When I met him, I was just finishing college. I was only nineteen. When I look back on it, I had no idea what the heck love was at that age. In retrospect, now I can be more forgiving after the things that we’ve gone through. We were two individuals still trying to figure life out. It’s hard to do that when you’re now responsible for yourself and someone else. When kid become involved, it can be chaotic especially if you don’t know who you are at the time. I have no regrets! But, now I can see why certain things happen. I’m not justifying them or making excuses but just saying that I have reached a point of understanding. I concede my becoming an actress was difficult for him.
What is the most important thing you would like readers to come away with after reading your book?
I want them to know that – yes, life throws us many challenges. Yes, you are going to go through a lot of hurts, pain, and traumatic experiences. There might be betrayals and depression. Some may even face incarceration. Maybe, you will feel life isn’t worth living anymore and have suicidal thoughts. It’s extremely important for you to know that whatever you face, there is love after that.
You can’t love someone else if you don’t know or love yourself. You can’t know someone else if you don’t know who you are or walk in your purpose. There are certain things that have to be in alignment before you think about being in a relationship. A lot of times, we put so much emphasis and expectations on relationships instead of focusing on our individual growth.
