Going back and befriending the very person who betrayed you is like handing them the knife and turning your back, hoping they won’t use it again. It’s not forgiveness—it’s permission.
It tells them their betrayal had no real consequence, that they can hurt you, and you’ll still be there, accepting it like it was justified.
When you welcome back someone who shattered your trust, you’re not just excusing their actions—you’re showing them that you believe you deserved it. That their lies, deception, and disloyalty were somehow okay.
But the truth is, real loyalty isn’t tested by how much you can endure—it’s measured by who would never put you in that position to begin with.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean making room for repeat offenders. It means freeing yourself from the weight of their actions while ensuring they no longer have access to you.
Don’t be a safe space for someone who proved they were a threat. Let them live with what they did, while you walk forward knowing your worth.
Author Bio
Míchelle Annalèise Coles is a relationship coach and founder of Annaleise Affirms LLC. She helps people embrace joy, set boundaries, and redefine success on their own terms. Learn more at www.annaleiseaffirms.com
