We all have had that one friend who doesn’t know how to stay down when in a relationship. Yes, they are consistent and there when you need them when they are single (One day, we will have to define what that really means.), but the moment they get some new dick in their lives, everything changes.
I understand that, of course, they will not be as available as when they were single. And a relationship, like anything else in life, needs to be fed in order to grow. But these clowns take it to a whole other level.
First, she becomes less dependable, rarely making contact except when he’s busy with other things. She doesn’t come around as often and can’t be reached by phone unless she needs something. She sets aside her dreams, goals, and social bonds to make him the center of their worlds. She has the power of choice and she’s choosing to allow these things to happen. You almost can’t even blame the guy because she is more likely acting this way of her own free will. Almost…
This is a typical pattern in relationships with toxic partners, where they typically begin by isolating the woman from her family and friends. Let’s call it Dating a Fuck Nigga 101. The goal is to keep you from the very people who would want to hinder you from losing themselves and make you dependent solely on their validation. Once they have you jumping through these kinds of hoops and turning your back on people who care about you, it’s pretty much a wrap.
While some of these situations develop into lengthy abusive relationships, many come to an abrupt end the moment the man feels she is no longer a prize to be sought or a challenge to be conquered. This kind of nigga was never really looking for a forever-and-a-day relationship. He just wanted a new hole to fill and will move on the moment he’s held accountable or he finds a new challenge like another woman still living in her purpose.
Now, we arrive at the part you’ve been waiting for. Here comes our fair-weather friend with her humble, teary-eyed apologies. Now the person who could barely find time to call you, much less meet up face-to-face, has all the time in the world. And she wants you on the VIP list for all the pity parties that are sure to follow. Except she has forgotten one small thing…You are no longer friends. And you probably never really were to begin with.
Real friends don’t change up. They establish boundaries at the beginning of a relationship that must be respected. They value their friends and understand the blessing of having people who care for you, even if there’s nothing to gain from it. They keep the same energy because they know a man who doesn’t appreciate that kind of loyalty could never be loyal to you. It’s simply not in him.
So stop changing up on friends ’cause when everything is said and done (especially after this last election), you will need them more than you think.
Be’n Original
