Ever watch a video of someone doing asinine shit and wonder what kind of people they have in their circles who would encourage them to behave so stupidly? Or listened to a struggle rapper’s mixtape and wonder why his friends let him put this bullshit out? Don’t get me started on the Instagram users who should model masks and waist trainers.
Loyalty doesn’t necessitate agreement.
The first time I heard that sentence, I knew it would become an adage that I would share with my family, friends, and clients. While the word “loyalty” has been commonly shared as tattoos, poetic memes, and tweets, a lot of people have lost the term’s true meaning. Let me break it down.
If you have a friend and that friend is fucking up, no matter how, the right thing to do is to disagree with that course of action no matter how passionate or determined that friend might be.
Being disloyal would be encouraging, supporting, or enabling your friends to continue to do something knowing that it is detrimental to their interests or well-being. Let’s say you have a friend that is an aspiring singer but you know that she sounds like two dogs mating during a full moon, don’t co-sign her to perform live. No matter how much you love her and care about her feelings, keep it real. Friends don’t allow friends to play themselves in public.
If you have a friend and that friend is fucking up, no matter how, the right thing to do is to disagree with that course of action no matter how passionate or determined that friend might be.
You don’t have to be crass or heartless in being loyal. You can suggest alternatives or positive adjustments. It is not necessary to kill dreams or break spirits. If you care enough to help, if time allows, choose your words carefully to make sure your intent to be helpful is clear. However, be prepared. Most often, people aren’t looking for honesty or loyalty, they are looking for agreement. Sometimes, you have to be willing to be the bad guy or mistaken for a hater, loyalty demands it.
Do not worry. It is more often than not, just a matter of time before that loved one is faced with the harsh reality and will appreciate that you, at least, were honest and loyal. We all need people who tell us the truth even when we don’t want to hear it because it is necessary. I have a few and I love them dearly for it. After all, no one is perfect — not even me.
